Photo by Anna Tarazevich
I used to not express my thoughts and needs because I didn’t think they mattered. I prided myself on not needing anything — always able to bend and twist myself into something that someone else needed. I was the Swiss Army Knife of a person and I was unhappy. The people pleaser in me was happy to be the person someone needed, but I wasn’t that person for myself. I realized that I wasn’t even the main character in my own story and that I wasn’t living the life that I wanted. I was the supporting character in everyone else’s life because that’s what I thought I needed to be in order to be wanted and loved. But then I was lucky to have found my community and my life partner who made me realize that they only wanted me for me and that’s when I made it my life goal to become better at communicating my thoughts and needs often and honestly.
The Importance of Communicating Your Thoughts and Needs
One of the core concepts of this blog is for me to encourage you to live your life as your most authentic self. You can’t do that unless you actually and effectively communicate your thoughts and needs. It can be so scary to do so because you fear someone judging you, but if that’s the case, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate who you actually let into your life.
What Can Happen When You Don’t Talk About Your Feelings?
It seems like for many of us, we share a common theme of being taught to repress our feelings and say “it’s fine” in order for everyone else to be okay. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when you must cast aside your feelings, but please do not give in when it goes against your morals and past your comfort levels. We usually think that we’re being “good” when we repress our feelings and just go along with it, but at its simplest, we’re being disingenuous to ourselves. We’re living a life that doesn’t actually belong to us and that can manifest in negative ways like:
Strained Relationships
Simply put, when you don’t communicate, this can lead to misunderstandings and conflict in your personal and professional relationships. Overtime your relationships will learn not to trust you because you cannot express yourself honestly.
Intensified negative emotions
People commonly think that expressing a negative emotion like anger is bad, but that’s not always true. Anger at its core is another form of communication. When you’re able to express yourself in a productive way, don’t be mean — just express why you are upset, you are opening up to communicating honestly and can then begin to figure out a solution. If you just repress your negative emotions, there’s the possibility of you overthinking the issue which could then cause the small issue to turn into something much bigger than it needed to be.
Missed opportunities
You’ve probably heard some form of “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” and that’s entirely true when you don’t express your feelings and needs. When you express your needs and feelings, you are communicating with your community, your family, the universe what you actually want in life. You never know who in your network might be the bridge to connecting you to what you want and need.
So, now that you know some reasons for why not communicating can negatively affect you, let’s pivot to how communicating your thoughts and needs can benefit you
How Communicating your Thoughts and Needs Benefits You
When you truly express yourself, you open yourself up to yourself and the world. You put what makes you you out there. You begin to live authentically because you realize and understand that there is a place for you here in the world. There’s people out there who want you for exactly who you are. When you begin to share your thoughts and feelings, you may notice:
Deepened Connection in Your Relationships
When you openly share your thoughts and feelings, you invite others into your world. This vulnerability fosters trust and understanding, strengthening the bonds you share with loved ones.
Increased Sense of Belonging
By expressing yourself authentically, you discover that your thoughts and emotions resonate with others. This realization creates a profound sense of belonging, reminding you that you are never alone in your experiences.
Increased Problem Solving
Communication is the gateway to collaborative problem-solving. When you express your concerns and needs, you invite diverse perspectives and innovative solutions, making challenges easier to navigate.
Boost in Self Confidence
Speaking your mind is an affirmation of your self-worth. Each time you communicate your thoughts and feelings, you reinforce your confidence, reminding yourself that your voice matters.
Reduction in Stress and Anxiety
Keeping thoughts and emotions bottled up can lead to stress and anxiety. Sharing them lightens the emotional load, offering relief, and providing an opportunity for support and understanding
In Conclusion
Open and honest communication is such a vital tool in expressing and living authentically as yourself. When you’re able to communicate your thoughts and feelings, you affirm that your voice matters and that you have a place in the world that needs your uniqueness.
I’d like to end this post with some affirmations that you can start adding to your routine today to reframe your mind to be open to communicating your thoughts, feelings, and needs.
Hope this article encourages you to express yourself more authentically.
xx
